Five Simple Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem


Assuming that other people know better than us how to overcome life’s challenges begs the question: why do we do it? We take their outward air of self-assurance and think, “Wow, they have it all figured out!” Why can’t I have as much self-assurance? Many of these folks know how to appear assured even when quivering like jelly. Just what, then, is self-assurance? And more importantly, how can you learn to increase your self-assurance while enhancing your fundamental sense of self-worth? To that end, I present the following five simple steps:

First, stop assuming other people have more self-assurance than you do. Not at all. They may have developed self-assurance in some areas of their lives via trial and error, such as professional accomplishments or improvements in interpersonal skills. However, NOT A SINGLE HUMAN BEING is self-assured in every facet of their existence. Famous people have been known to cancel performances or even throw up before going onstage because of extreme anxiety. There are countless anecdotes about famous actors needing a coach or a talisman to get through a take or even hiding in their dressing trailers. And what about those flamboyant, confident, and seemingly larger-than-life public speakers? Many have said they were terrified that they couldn’t perform without extensive expert coaching and mental visualization techniques. As they crossed the finish line, their palms were sweating, and their hearts were likely beating faster than Secretariats. Don’t assume that other people have the situation under control. They have found ways to grit their teeth and pretend everything is fine. And so can you.

The presentation is the most essential part! When you smile, people respond to you and see you as more confident. A simple smile (not a grin) is all it takes to launch your new persona. Have you ever been in the company of someone whose smile was so contagious that you couldn’t help but crack a grin yourself? In most cases, this mimicry occurs unconsciously. When we’re around someone who “seems” to be doing well, we can’t help but pick up on their buoyant energy. We want to be a part of it; we want the pleasant vibes, too. Simply putting on a big grin, broadcast to the world, “I’m cool. My current situation is satisfactory to me. Don’t you love being alive?

Make some mirror time a priority, and work on your grin. The brightness in your eyes is a side effect. The real payoff, though, is the way you’ll start to feel. Feelings of positivity and a tingling sensation will surge through you. Not bad for the price of a quick smile in the mirror. Get out there and see what happens when you genuinely smile at people. Have fun with it! Please test it out on strangers at the supermarket. No more than a friendly smile that conveys, “I’m happy.” Expect a greeting or a grin in return.

The Third Rule of Seeing is. If you glance down at your feet, the wall, or the chin of the person you speak with, you will not come off as confident. Making direct eye contact is the surest sign of self-assurance. If you’re having trouble doing this, like you did with smiling, try practicing in front of a mirror. Pick a pal who will be understanding and have them help you hone your skills. You won’t need too much practice before it feels second nature. The support you receive from others will boost your confidence and inspire you to keep going. Unsurprisingly, making eye contact is emphasized as the most essential skill for a salesperson to learn.

Basics of the Human Body, Number 4. Once again, we find ourselves in front of a mirror. This time, I’d like you to pose in front of a full-length mirror so that we can examine your figure from the waist up. Face the mirror perpendicularly, either against a wall or a doorway. Turn your head and stare at yourself in the mirror without adjusting. Hold still! Precisely what do you notice? Do you have a stooped posture? Is your neck curved over your spine, or do you hold your head high? Is your diaphragm sagging into your chest? Growing up in a modeling agency meant I had regular lessons on standing tall and confident. If my mom saw me slouching, she’d give me a gentle prod between the shoulder blades and tell me to straighten up. When projecting an air of assurance, your posture is crucial. You give off an aura of invincibility when you walk and stand tall, with your shoulders back and your chin in line with the floor. It reeks of assurance. People with poor self-esteem often appear withdrawn, with their heads down low as if to say, “Don’t look at me.”

Here is the fast cure for perfect posture that my mum taught me. Don’t slouch! Raise your shoulders as high as you can, almost to the level of your ears. Holding them in position, turn them back as far as possible, and lower them straight down. You have successfully realigned your spinal column. See the instant results by trying it out in front of a mirror. And it feels fantastic! The diaphragm functions like a lung. Your sternum is appropriately lifted, and you’ll appear 5 pounds lighter as a result. I’m happy to help. Those who spend their days hunched over a computer at work will benefit greatly from this activity. Repeat this several times throughout the day to experience the boost in energy and the positive effects of good posture on your body.

Take Part! 5. Now that you have their attention with your grin, eyes, and body language, all they need to hear is your incredible voice. Confident people know how to adjust the tone of their voices so that they seem both pleasant and powerful. They aren’t very audible. They are used to being heard. Therefore, they speak at a steady pace and just the right volume. A voice that has a lilt to it conveys happiness and is contagious. Don’t talk too fast. Consider cutting back if you constantly say, “You know?” or “Right?”. One of the people I care about the most always asks for confirmation of her thoughts by asking, “Right?” at the end of every statement. Boring and annoying; repetition is the worst. Make use of people’s names in conversation. Using a person’s cherished name is a surefire way to draw them in and make them likable. Confident people know this about themselves and use it frequently. Express your happiness at being in this company by laughing easily. Get a cheap tape recorder, use the one on your phone, and ramble off a sentence. Take a listen. How do I sound to you? Recite the phrase again, using your best, most pleasant voice and avoiding saying harsh, nasal, or whiny. Just put in the time and effort. The Working Girl Melanie Griffith.

There you have it: five simple, foolproof steps instantly make you seem more certain to others. The best part is that if you follow these instructions, you won’t have to fake it. Your self-respect will rise as people respond positively to the new you, and your confidence will skyrocket like fireworks on Independence Day.
Sparkle it up!

Founded by’s Rebecca F. Pittman, founded by Rebecca F. Pittman, has been called “the premier dating, relationship, and image makeover website,” and she has been invited to appear on national talk shows. She has assisted in enhancing self-esteem and confidence in tens of thousands of men and women. In addition to covering these topics, also guides dating, relationships, style, health, and fitness. Learn more about what guys want in a partner, date, or spouse by posing your questions to our Bull Pen panel of men on this free website.

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